Thursday, April 21, 2011

God's Time Not My Time

Since Pearl was born we have adored her and loved her. We also have always had a desire to have another. I had always dreamed of at least two children and with in a year or two of each other. So that when I was done with diapers and other baby stuff I would be done. However month after month since 2004 the answer was no no no. I became very irregular with my cycle and went through about a year of testing and medicine to get regulated and to see if there was a medical reason as to why I wasn't conceiving. Nothing, no reason medically. Was told I could go to a fertility specialist and we said no. We did not feel that was what we needed to do. We have always said when it is God's time it will happen. During this time of testing a lady told Corben that not to give up hope he would have a son, while he was in Kentucky for school.
Over the next couple of years i just tucked that away. It was not always easy to accept what I was telling people including Pearl.."when it is God's time it will happen." Pearl so wanted to be a big sister and has been asking since she was three. I had many times when I was just plain sad and angry. You name it I know I thought it and more than likely said to at least Corben. We even had got rid of just about everything from when Pearl was a baby, cause I didn't want to keep moving it. And than I in late summer early fall this year had pretty much got tired of all the counting and stuff to figure out best time when to take a test and was really tired of seeing no. Not this month, maybe next. I had coincided to the fact that this was our family of 3 and that is what God was blessing me with and I was going to be content with it.
So we headed to Florida to celebrate Pearl's birthday in October. I carried with me the whole time a tampon because I just knew I would need it any day now. Well our week at Disney passed and I never needed that tampon. So when we got home I thought well I am about two weeks late I better take a test. So off to the store I went and the next morning to my utter amazement and joy it said I was pregnant. Corben and I couldn't contain our joy. We had waited so long. What a gift God had given us.
Everything was going great all tests good and progressing normal. Pearl was and is so excited to be a big sister. We than found out what I figured would be we were expecting a little boy.
Than while Corben was in England I found out my glucose test was high and would need to do the 3 hour test upon his return. So we did and that came back good. Praise God!!!
Than last week I noticed my ankles were swelling and not going down like they did with Pearl. So I just knew there was something going on here. Corben and Pearl even put me on their version of bed rest and left Mommy alone during the weekend but to no avail. Sunday night we took my blood pressure and it was up. So Monday morning it was off to see the Dr. My blood pressure was up and I was sent home on bed rest and lab work to be done. Well Monday night it spiked and so off the the hospital we went. They kept me over night to run test and monitor me.
And the verdict came in gestational hypertension severe of course...every number is 1 or 2 under being diagnosed preaclympsia. They say once this starts it doesn't get better just worse until the baby is born. They expect I will present myself to full blown preaclympsia next week...it is just a matter of time.
So here I am at Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown West Virginia until little Isaac arrives. The ultimate goal is to get to 37 weeks...I am currently 31 weeks...34 weeks is also a possibility. It all depends on how I and Isaac deal with the high blood pressure.
So after all of this I am very thankful for it being God's time and not ours because:
*Corben is done with school and all his provisional stuff
*Pearl is in school all day and independent
*We live with in a 1/2 hour of a hospital equipped to handle high risk pregnancies and a NICU for Issac when he comes early
*We have a great friend who works in the NICU who can answer questions and has all her friends looking after me and Isaac

Thank you God for your time and not mine!!!!!!!!