Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pastoral Family

Well it has been a year since Corben got his first appointment as a United Methodist pastor, and since we became a pastoral family. It has been a very exciting year with many ups and downs along the way. I am very blessed to be a part of this journey in many ways and God is showing me new things on I would say pretty much a daily basis. One of the things that has surprised me most over the past year is how much I have enjoyed being a part of the church where up until January Pearl was the only child and Corben and I were the age of must of the member's grandchildren. I had always told my parents that I would always do youth ministry, because I hated working with old people. Boy does God have a sense of humor. It has been wonderful getting involved with the United Methodist Women's group here at Bridgewater, and as a result believe it or not starting next year at the District level. I always thought of the UMW as a old ladies group. My mom always told me to keep an open mind and not say that sort of thing. Well I will say it, she was and is right (if not all the time most of the time). Pearl has not yet let me sit through many worship services over this past year so that is still a work in progress and I would say at times one of my most frustrating weekly experiences. I have also found it hard to believe what we as a church have in place for the mentoring and accountability of Pastors and their families. I can not believe that for the local pastors they meet as a group for one to two hours six times a year and that is to be their accountability group and also mentoring time with their clergy mentor. One mentor for 15 to 20 pastors, and an accountability group that size. Pretty dysfunctional if you ask me. I also have been left a little dismayed at the spouses activities. I have in the past year not once been contacted by another Pastor's spouse to ask me how things are going or to give me advice. I think that we as a church need to do more for the spouses of pastors as well as do more for the pastors, especially for new pastors and their families. With that said I would say that the local church has been a true blessing, the connectional church well let's just say we need to ask God for help. I do have some ideas from what I have experienced if there is anyone out there reading this who might be in a position to make some changes and wants to listen.

3 comments:

Corben said...

You are always in my prayers!!!

Randy Roda said...

Brenda...you are very right. The denomination does a poor job of helping pastors and their families adjust to life in the ministry. The network for spouses is not very strong and I am not surprised you have hard from no one.

We are pretty much on our own out there, although Corben should look into covenant groups of pastors on your district. He may be able to hook up with one.

I'll be praying for you both!

smkyqtzxtl said...

Brenda, I am a lay pastor and a certified candidate. ia gree with you. I decided to take the bull by the horns and start calling people in in my vicinity. I figured if I didn't do smething it wasn't going to happen. I suggest that you may want to just start putting feelers out to other pastors wives, even if they have been in the area for a while. Some people are shy about reaching out. I guess I did it in desperation, I have been waiting for ever and finally decided, that's it, I'm going to call people I don't know and say what God has put on my heart and see what happens. Try it what have you got to lose? I don't think you live near me, Erie County, or I would say, come join us.